The week I finished work to prepare for my baby's arrival the government budget was handed down. I found out my workplace was being abolished and I was going to lose my job.
I was part of the leadership team at work (think middle management) and so was part of many meetings about how we would deal with this. I can't tell you how many of these meetings there were, but I can tell you that I cried through every single one of them (really professional *cough*).
I just kept thinking - what's going to happen to my maternity leave. We just bought a new house. We have another baby arriving soon. I love my job. What am I going to do!
It took quite awhile to see, let alone accept the silver lining.
That I would be able to stay home with my children for longer by accepting a redundancy. This is a blessing. It just means giving up job security which makes me nervous. We had reached a point where I had found a good balance between work and home life (sure it could tip in either direction from time to time, but overall it was working for us). I was lucky that I was passionate and engaged in my work. I manged two teams and worked part time. And I loved it (I think I was kinda ok at it too).
In accepting this reality though, I am finding myself feeling more and more excited that I will be home with my kids for longer. Although, this is interspersed with anxiety about not having a job. It's funny the ups and downs you can go through. And it made me think back to my very mixed feelings on returning to work after my daughter turned one. It has also made me realise how far I've come professionally, but also on my parenting journey.
So here is to my next adventure - as a stay at home mum!