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Sunday, 28 April 2013

Part timer's guilt


 I have what I call 'part timer's guilt'
And I am sure I am not alone

Some weeks I feel I have somehow succeeded in walking the tightrope...
retaining my 'balance' between my two worlds ~ my professional self and mama land

While other weeks I feel consumed by one part of my life and worry that it affects the other
When in reality, I think I work very hard to ensure both keep ticking along as best as can be


At work...
I try to avoid being a bottleneck, and try to work extra hard to avoid this
I enjoy the professional challenges that come my way and pour a lot of mental energy into them
{sometimes leaving little for the evenings at home}
But I am lucky that in my work 'I make a difference' and feel valued
{for I am sure it would be much harder if this wasn't the case!}

At home...
I try to ensure I slow down and enjoy the little moments
To play, to craft, to bake... 
and to just be with them
So I stop and sit while they play...
Smiling while I watch, joining in when I can't resist *smile*


In this balancing act I find that if I stay present in the moment
I am more productive, or connected to where I am and what that involves
But at times my mind slips away...
...to think about work when I am home, or to home when I am at work
So I write things down, or allow myself a moment, before diving back in

And because I work my days all in a row 
I have set up lots of memory cues to help me jump back in when the time comes
However a lot can happen in a couple of days
So I have had to learn to let go a great deal more than before
And to maximise the input I can provide when I can
But all in all, I still have part timer's guilt
because it's hard to 'have it all'


Do you have part timers guilt? What strategies do you use to manage it?

Warmly,
Kelly

4 comments:

  1. oh I know exactly what you are talking about. I spend so much of my time at work worrying that I'm not able to cover as wide a portfolio as I should/would be able to if I had those extra two days in the office, and then I feel equally bad when i spend a day engrossed in my job and arrive home too late to put Goblin to bed. I do make a point of not having my work phone on on my family days, but then I feel guilty when i arrive back on a Monday and something has happened that would normally be my remit and i wasn't there to deal. groan.
    My strategy is to be as kick ass at my job as I can be in the time i have allotted to it, and no more. And when I am at home to try and be kick ass at that as well and turn off all work devices. and be in the moment. It doesn't stop the guilt though.
    Thanks for sharing, I'm so glad its not just me.
    I'm sharing this on the Sunday Parenting Party pinterest board

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    1. featuring your post on the SPP this weekend

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  2. I used to be the same when I had to work full time with Miss teen...I was always feeling guilty about something....but you know what...we always will whether working or not Kell...we are Mums!
    I found I really had to switch off once I was at home as when I worked in child care it was easy to feel it was still a 'job' at home too and become resentful. Sitting back and watching play, being there if needed is a great strategy...but feeding your mind and soul as an adult is also important and nothing to feel guilty about....you just do the best you can and know that that is the rhythm of your family's life now...you aren't missing anything xx

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  3. I have the same kind of guilt in a different kind of way because I work from home. I try my best not to be at the ocmputer at all when the children are awake which leaves me early, early mornings, naptimes and after 730pm to get it all done but sometimes this is just not enough. We have a sitter that comes for three hours once a week just so I can sit at the computer for a chunk of time in the day and hash things out. But no matter how hard I try my children see my attached to the screen, typing away from time to time and I have to be very aware of balancing bring present with them with my work. The good thing is that no one is putting pressure on me but myself to get my work done. I am only accountable to me so I don't have to worry about office politics, other people's schedules and demands. Hope you find your own balance - it seems you are already well on your way! xx m.

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts!